Hey there,
I know it has been a while. I'm all grown up and saving China ( 10 points if you know where the quote is from).
I know it's been a while and I know I could be quite rusty right now. But I truly believe that this post might reach the hearts I'm looking towards reachings.
So today's topic will focus on how I got the opportunity to go back to Lille after 7-8 years of not stepping foot in the North of France.
Writing this, I can say, makes me all emotional and nervous considering I wouldn't have imagined some of the things that have hapenned in my life. But let' get back to how I got back to Lille this year.
First, we have to go back to 2024. Easily one of the hardest years of my life. 2025 isn't showing much improvement, but I'll make a quick stop of my life some other time. Today is an ode to my younger version.
2024, around August, I had this mesmerising call of destiny to return. I have been around the internet for a while and I have seen these videos circulating on Tik Tok of this musical called Molière with these amazing young singers and dancers. I really wanted to finally take charge of my life and to actually not only go and see the show, but also go back to an amazing, yet dreadful piece of my history.
I'm not going to lie and say that doing an Erasmus on your own is for everybody. At that time it wasn't for me and, to this day, being somewhere new and far from home is no easy job.
So I buy this ticket for the musical, not caring in the world about the price of the ticket (around 90 euros) for a good seat. And that is how I got my trigger. I call triggers any event or ocasion to travel long distance for something valuable. I have two other instances which I might post about later, if the ocasion calls for.
So I get the ticket to Molière, the next step is booking the flight. Which, if I remember correctly, happened around March, this year. After that, I secured the hotel, and the trip was on to happen. One thing was missing. I had to revisit a friend from my past. My only friend that I've made and lept in touch with.
Luckily, we did have the chance to meet. But let me take things chronologically.
I arrived in Lille on the 23rd of May this year. And let me say, I was exctatic. It was like going back in time, but smarter (cause I could finally speak the language without much difficulty), richer (from all my life experience and, of course, adult financial stability) and the peace I've made with my past.
I roamed the streets I used to roam till I couldn't feel my feet anymore, and then I would do it again. I revisited anything and everything. I ate all the gâteaux and éclaires I wanted. I enjoyed the sparkling flavoured waters. I bought souvenirs, I fell into the trap of French pharmacies and skincare (gaah just take my money). I have accepted I was a ch'tie (girl from the region Nord pas de Calais), and a proud one at that 😋.
Lille is so much bigger than it used to be. There were more people, more colours, new businesses. Even in the subway there were barriers installed. No more riding the sub for free tehe.
I am now the proud owner of a French keyboard that I use for work and, boy oh boy, do I feel little a little miss hacker with my black keys and pink lights 😎 But my experience wasn't always shopping for éclaires and souvenirs.
I have to say, and I did discuss it with some people, I could feel this urgency to go back home. Like a ghost of feelings past. I was sometimes scared ans overwhelmed. The 19, 20 year old that I was was coming back, afraid and lonely, wanting to just leave and go back home. But I kept on going. For my past self and my present self.
On the 24th of May, it was the day of the musical. I don't have words to describe the musical art I've discovered in France. It was beyond amazing. The choreo, the songs, the comedy, the costumes. I was brave enough to even go to the autograph session afterwards. If you have ever met me, you know crowds make me uncomfortable. And it was. But I have autographs now which I will cherish for life. And a signed CD 😮.
The story of the CD is quite cheeky. Goes to show that Frenc people have their unique sense of humour. I went into the concert haul, after a security check (GO FRANCE WOOO👯). I went to the smaller merch shop where they were selling anything, from mugs to posters, to CDs. Only at that one they had the signed ones. The lady in front of me bought one and then she goes "Ahaha I got the last one" and I went, WOW , you're so lucky. Only for her to go "Je plaisante" (I'm joking), there's plenty more. Oh, I am starting to like the French. 😉
On the 25th I went to Lens to meet my friend, enjoy some food and catch up on life. She is now married and has an adorable baby named Sofia, which we adore <3. It was an amazing experince to talk the differences between countries, our lives and where we were and where we are now. If felt good😀
Let's get personal. I feel like I have healed the wound left by Lille. I went there not for the expectations, but for myself. I wanted to go for myself. Sponsor myself the journey of healing whatever was hurt in my heart and soul.
And look at me now today. I am busier than ever, yet always unlicky in some matters. But If I am to make this journey matter, the journey of life that is, I will make it worth it. For the past, present and future me.
Now, if you're new here, you might not have seen the joy that I've been trying to spread for the years that I've been active. But maybe I can shed a light and give some examples of how we can turn our life around.
Maybe one day, you'll read about the last 7 years of my life. But for now, I hope you enjoyed this little experience 😊
Much love,
Alexandra
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